Used to be... Not Anymore!

Perhaps it was timely that the message at church this morning was about repentance. Of course this topic is applicable at any point in time, but the scriptures quoted were classic and beautiful—of which I want to write about today. First I would like to share 3 stories:

1. Paul used to be a persecutor of Christians. He hated the followers of Jesus. He wanted to see them all locked up in prison. On his way to Damascus, the Lord appeared to him. His life from then onwards was never the same again. He used to be a persecutor, but not anymore!

2. A woman was brought before Jesus in the temple. The Pharisees caught her in the act of adultery. They were condemning her for what she did. The Law of Moses says to stone her. They ask what Jesus would say. He stood up and said, “All right, stone her. But let those who have never sinned throw the first stones!” When the woman’s accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

“No Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

If the woman went and sinned no more, then she could say to the world, “I used to be an adulterer, but not anymore!”

3. A young son obtained his portion of the family estate as an early inheritance. Once received, the son immediately took off. He went away to a distant land and began to waste his fortune on wild living. When the money ran out, a sever famine hit the country and the son finds himself in terrible circumstances. He took a job feeding pigs. He was so destitute that he even longed to eat the food assigned to the pigs.

The young man finally came to his senses, remembering his father. In humility, he recognized his foolishness, and decided to return to his father and ask for forgiveness and mercy. The Prodigal Son was repentant. His father, who had been watching and waiting, received his son back with open arms of compassion. Perhaps the son cried to his father, “I used to be bad, but not anymore!”
Some of us may find ourselves in either of the circumstance described in the stories above. Or, we may even relate to all, although not in the same degree. The essence of the stories is the amazing power of repentance and forgiveness—that it is true and real that a person can change.

Our life is but made up of a variety of actions. These actions may either make or break us. Even a guided life may turn out to be prodigal in one way or the other.

I turn to the story of an old violin. It was battered and scarred, yet found itself in an auction. The auctioneer thought it a waste of time, but still asked those who would want to bid on the old violin. "Who'll start bidding for me? A dollar, a dollar - now who’ll make it two -Two dollars, and who’ll make it three? Three dollars once, three dollars twice, going for three.”

No one made a bid. Who would want to bid on a seemingly worthless, useless musical instrument?
Then from the back of the room, a gray-haired man came forward and picked up the bow. He wiped the dust from the old violin & tightened the strings. Then, he began to play a pure and sweet melody.

When the music ceased, the auctioneer began to start the bidding from a thousand dollars. Still, no one made their bid. Some people cheered, but some of them cried. They didn’t understand what changed its worth. It was because of the touch of the Master’s hand. I now quote from the poem:

And many a man with life out of tune,
And battered and torn with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd.Much like the old violin.

A "mess of pottage," a glass of wine,
A game and he travels on,
He's going once, and going twice -He's going - and almost gone!
But the MASTER comes, and the foolish crowd,
Never can quite understand,
The worth of a soul, and the change that's wrought
By the touch of the MASTER'S hand.

But changing to become a better person or a man of God, may not last until another persuasion comes. What then, can make one firmly say, “Used to be, not anymore!”

Once our lives and hearts are touched by the Savior’s love, we become humbled and begin to not “look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.” We feel to love the Savior back which drives us to avoid sin. We cannot say “not anymore!” and stay firm at that, until we let the Lord touch our hearts and fix our lives.

I end with these words of Nephi—an ancient American prophet. I love this part of the book of Nephi. Truly this is probably the most beautiful psalm I ever read. [2 Nephi 4:16-35]

Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard. Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep. He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh. He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me. Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time. And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me. And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.

O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions? And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul. Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions. Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation. O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin? May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!

O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy. O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

Even if we think we are walking in the path of right, at some point we get tempted to go astray, relax, and get curious about things—or even go back to who and what we used to be. Sometimes I tend to believe that to be typical—that the happenings in life can be repeated and will just turn into a cycle. But the words of God are supposed to bring permanence in one’s resolve to change.

When King Benjamin preached the word of God to the people, “they all cried with once voice, saying : Yeah, we believe all the words of which thou hast spoken unto us; and also we know of their surety and truth, because the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which was wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil , but to do good continually.”

“To do good continually”, to say “not anymore” requires more than human effort. Once we hear the Word, and live accordingly, and once the Spirit touches our heart, we are then converted into a being incapable of becoming a prodigal—a being whose choices are in tuned with the will of God. To reach this ultimately, the Lord gives us reminders in almost every place we go, and in every action we do. Disobedience or wrongdoing blurs our vision and sensitivity to the influence of God. We need to be vigilant as the adversary doubles or even triples his effort to lead us away from righteousness and bring us to misery.

I’m working to grasp that point where I can say that a “mighty change” had been shaped in my heart, so that the Lord can work in making me “shake at the appearance of sin”. I want to be able to say that “I used to be, but not anymore!”